1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round
table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.
6. Nomatter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.
littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One
hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
19. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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